I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
