talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ambien. No doubt about it.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
