We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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