Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
