I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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