She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
