Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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