he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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