"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Jerry, you need to find god
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
