No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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