I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
did i walk over a car last night?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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