I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
