I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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