I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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