Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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