first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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