Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
