You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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