i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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