i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
