I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
