5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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