Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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