Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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