If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He? As in you personified your dick?
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