So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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