If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
