i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
