Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
