I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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