Got a toothbrush?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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