if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
