I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
