Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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