I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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