they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
