Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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