and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
