so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
