Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
