I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have aggressive nipples.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
