I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
