i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
