So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
