The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
