Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So vagazzling was a success
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
