Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
