he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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