She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
