i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
