i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
